Why Do Some Women Like To Call Men ‘Daddy’ In Bed?
You Need To Know This!
Long Story Short
Searches for ‘daddy’ on adult sites appear to indicate that plenty of women are turned on by the term — but it doesn’t have anything to do with ‘daddy issues.’
‘Daddy’ is hot right now (yep, I said it). Two popular XXX websites, XHamster and Pornhub, both indicate in year-end reports that searches for ‘daddy’ are high among women (via Maxim). So what’s up with that? Are women suddenly fantasizing about their fathers or older men?
Sexologist Dr. Nikki Goldstein from the podcast Sex & Life doesn’t think so. She told the New York Post searches for daddy have nothing to do with ‘daddy issues.’ Rather, they tend to be an “exciting fantasy.”
“[Daddy porn’s] got the key elements. Being taboo and having an authority figure in charge are very normalized triggers,” Goldstein said. “So you’ve got a taboo fantasy play that turns people on, plus you’ve also got the submission. Also, as the content is morally wrong and extreme, it feels naughty. Even if it is acting; so for some, it becomes sexy.”
XHamster is known particularly as a hardcore site, so it’s no surprise that people visiting it are looking for taboos or fetishes. A popular fetish that ties into the word ‘daddy’ is known as Daddy Dom / little girl (DDlg) and it involves men taking care of their ‘littles’ while the littles just act innocent, according to Broadly.
But what about outside of porn land and in real life? Has a woman ever called you ‘daddy’ and you thought – ‘who!?’
Sex therapist Vanessa Marin told Broadly, “Yes, ‘daddy’ can mean ‘father,’ but we also use the word to indicate when someone is the boss, in charge, a protector, or doing a good job. That’s usually the meaning women are going for in the bedroom. It’s a bit of a 70s porn cliche. I’ve never run across a woman who called her partner ‘daddy’ because she genuinely liked fantasizing that he was her father.”
Another sex therapist, Jacqueline Hellyer, told Whimn that ladies who like to use the word ‘daddy’ might be role playing and acting in a way that’s different from the way she tends to act outside the bedroom.
“Role plays – and in particular, power exchange role plays – are a very safe way for people with strong personalities to let go,” Hellyer said. “You often find that women who like to be ‘submissive’ in relationships – like the kind of women who’d call their partner ‘daddy’ in bed – are actually pretty high-powered in their day-to-day lives. Engaging in this roleplay is their way of letting go and giving in to vulnerability.”
So, no, calling you daddy doesn’t mean she’s thinking about her father or that she thinks you’re her sugar daddy. If she says it, just go with it and when things cool down, talk it out. She might even be turned on when you say ‘who’s your daddy?’ Or maybe not. Talk about it first; communication is never a bad call.